


Bipper Bloopers

by Kennaye



Category: Gravity Falls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-22
Updated: 2014-09-22
Packaged: 2018-02-17 02:03:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2292863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kennaye/pseuds/Kennaye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Possession isn't easy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bipper Bloopers

Things to do:

Drugs with felix

Dipper flung his arms and legs all over the place as his spectral form flew around the room. Getting used to this new state of being was challenging, disorienting, and just downright unpleasant. After gathering his bearings he hovered over to Bipper. "Get out of my body!" He screamed.

"Or what? You'll float near me passively?" He...no Bill in him snickered. "I'm running the physical show now kid. Should really be careful for what you wish for. Now that I have your body, there's no telling what I'll do!" Bill started manically laughing as Mabel walked in.

"Hey Dipper! Hope you don't mind but I borrowed your journal for my puppet show without asking and am now going to leave before you can process the sentence ok seeya you there byeee!" Mabel trailed off as she left the room as quickly as she left. Bill smiled evily towards Dipper as he started moving towards the exit.

"No! Stop!" Dipper shouted one last time. Trying to dive towards Bill, all that really happened was he went through the floor and into the closet they had under the staircase. Sticking his head through it, he was caught off guard by Bill's foot coming through him. As he descended he was met by Wendy and the Captain.

"Sup Dip." Felix stuck his fist out for knucks. Bipper out his hand over and held it, leaving Felix to slowly draw his hand back uncomfortably. Wendy rolled her eyes and laughed at the weird gesture. "Me and Wendy were gonna go pregame before your sister's puppet show. You want in?"

"Of course I do, I love spending time with my faithful acquaintances." Bipper laughed heartily. Felix furrowed his brow.

"Uh...aight." Felix muttered. They all started to exit as Dipper flew all around the room like a drunken bird. He screamed about how Bipper wasn't him but to no avail, no one but Bill could hear him. He just followed his body as they all got in Felix's Cavalier. 

* * *

 

They pulled up to the park where all the cats go to die. It was one of three parks in and around Gravity Falls, and was the second best one sadly. The whole thing had fallen into disrepair and looked like something out of some post apocalyptic scenario. The paint was peeling off of all the playground equipment and out of the two basketball courts they had on it, only one had both hoops and only one of those hoopsn had a chain net. It was almost depressing, but it was the type of place you'd expect to find people doing drugs.

Parking his car under a tree, Felix started rummaging around in his bag. Pulling out a smaller plastic baggy, he carefully poured a little bit of white powder on his center console. Taking an ID card(on which upon closer inspection Dipper found to be a Gravity Falls' High' student ID), Felix cut the pile into three lines and took a rolled up dollar. Placing it by it, he quickly snorted a line and leaned his back, still quickly inhaling all the while. He kept his eyes scrunched for a bit, then relaxed, opening them. "Fuck that burns." He said, laughing a little.

"Dude, give me that." Wendy said. Looking at Bipper, she smiled coyly. "Let me show how someone who isn't a _pussy_ does it." Wendy laughed as she leaned her head down and did a line. Untrue to her word, Wendy grunted with pain and muttered "Fuck that really burns."

"Ooooooh Wendy." Felix said mockingly before looking at Bipper. "Want your line?"

"I love inserting substances into my body!" Bipper replied enthusiastically, which led to Felix giving him another odd look. Taking the the dollar, Bipper quickly snorted the line. For a moment, all was still as all he did. Then laughing, he started punching himself in the nose. His nose started bleeding.

"Dude, fuck!" Felix shouted. "You're getting blood everywhere, stop bein' a fuckin' retard!"

"My nose burns!" Bipper cried out, still laughing. Dipper wanted to slam his head into a wall as he watched Bill's reaction to actual intense pain. Evidently he still found it hilarious but it was getting to him. Felix grabbed Bippers arm and restrained it.

"Dip, knock it the fuck off!" Felix shouted. Bipper took his other fist and started to punch himself in the dick.

"I need a distraction! It burns!" Bipper screamed as he pushed Wendy's seat forward and ran out of the car. Screaming and punching himself in the dick like a madman, he ran up to a tree and started to headbutting it.

"Dipper, stop!" Wendy shouted. Dipper wanted to bury himself deep beneath the Earth as this all went down, it was embarrassing. Dipper just decided to cut his losses and head over to the theater. He'd just get his body back there...he wasn't feeling this.

* * *

 

Dipper was relieved after they had cleaned all the destruction from the puppet show. Sure, Mabel had lost her new crush, they had caused about 300 dollars worth of damage, and the laptop was gone, but it felt nice to be back in his own body.

"Hey Dipper, did you ever pick up that thing I asked you to get me?"

"Uh...what thing?"

Mabel walked over to Bill's jacket and went in the inner pocket. "Here they are!" Mabel said, pulling out a packet of tampons. Dipper froze looking at them. "Thanks for buying them for me Dipper. I know Tambry works over at the convenience store and you always say it's embarrassing, but I had to work on this for Gabe...." Dipper toned her out as he thought it over. Not only had he put drugs in Dipper's body, but Bill had also gone out and done social suicide.

Bill was such a dick.

God fucking dammit. God. Fucking. Dammit.

Dipper left in the middle of Mabel talking. He just wanted to go home and go to bed forever. He was so done with Mabel's boyfriend bullshit, and with all the other bullshit. Done.


End file.
